A brilliant young scientist builds a spaceship that can finally travel faster than speed of light. He flies to a distant planet with a strange alien civilization. He observes the planet for a few days but instead of landing and greeting the alien race, he decides to go back home. Upon his triumphant return he tells us about his incredible journey and how the alien race has totally lost their mind.
“They had advanced technology, alien art, music, many beautiful things. But they had a very peculiar habit. Billions of the aliens were injecting themselves with a poison that was slowly killing them. Young ones, old ones, even ones who were on their deathbed from this very poison, they were injecting it still! How could it be?
The famous alien actors were also injecting themselves with this poison. I noticed it was on their billboards, in their music, and even on their alien television. Boy, they really love this poison injection. The alien scientists knew about the dangers of it, in fact, they warned citizens of every alien nation and posted death counts of millions of aliens dying every year from it, but they just keep injecting. The alien government even put pictures of grotesque alien poisoned organs on the vile of poison, nothing would derail them from injecting more. These aliens lost their mind!”
Shortly after his glorious return home, he set off on another journey. Once again, a few days later he returns having made no contact. “This alien race is worse than the first one! They have gone totally bonkers.”
The scientist explains this planet was even more beautiful than the last, far more advanced than home with teleporters and robots that do all the work so the alien citizens don’t have to. This alien species is very literate and they publish millions of great alien literate works every year.
But there are 3 publications in particular the aliens have gone crazy over. He did a rough translation of the works and found they are a collection of short fictional stories, some philosophy and some rules to follow. The aliens have really grown attached to these publications, so much in fact, they will hurt or even kill other aliens who break the rules. Shockingly, there are great wars where millions of aliens die over these publication.
Even more shocking is the publications are all very similar, in fact, they were written by the same author a long time ago! Despite this the aliens cannot seem to agree on anything except killing each other! In reality none of the aliens really knows who exactly wrote the publications, or if any of the stories are even true. He definitely does not want to make first contact with such a crazy alien planet and comes back home.
He decides to go to one final alien planet. He finds something more disturbing than the first 2 planets combined. The aliens don’t have any crazy literate works, or poison, or even any wars. in fact, the society is very stable and well behaved. But he is finding many dead aliens everywhere, many of them are young, they are being killed by laser grenades. The scientist says “I could not find the direct link behind the deaths. There were more laser grenades than aliens on the planet! And many of the deaths seemed accidental. Sometimes 100s aliens would die all at once because one or two angry aliens killed them with laser grenades. The more aliens that die from laser grenades, the more of the laser grenades were made and handed out. This alien race has totally lost their mind!”
The scientist really wants to stay home but he is urged to visit one last planet since so much has been learned about the universe in such a short time.
He agrees and comes back just one hour later with a real look of horror on his face. He announces
“The 4th planet was definitely the worst. Like the first planet, they poison themselves, Like the second planet, they kill each other and hurt each other in great numbers as dictated by books written so long ago nobody even knows who the author was. And like the 3rd planet they stockpile weapons that millions die from every year. On top of all this, they are deliberately overheating the entire planet killing off many wild species and causing terrible changes they will not be able to reverse This planet is called Earth, we must never go there.”
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